I think it happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. And so you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.
I’m learning it isn’t my job to make people good, that i don’t need to make others realize what they did wrong if they don’t see it themselves. I’m learning that kindness isn’t always returned with kindness and friendship often with pain, and sometimes you make mistakes that you wish you didn’t, and you lose people whom you wanted to stay, but nothing that you do can stop them from going far away from you. I’m learning that healing and hurting often come hand in hand, and that the journey is messy, non-linear and often bursting with enough challenges that make you want to give up. But life is beautiful, experiences add color and people, they are who make everything worthwhile. I’m learning that I don’t need to have everything figured out, I need to look at my own time-scale, rather than focus on what others are doing in their lives. I need to focus on me. I need to direct all my energy to my mind and soul and hope that it’ll allow some magic to grow. I’m learning that I will continue learning today, tomorrow and in the days that follow. I’ll experience things that break me, and bring me joy, and enlighten me in vibrant ways. I’ll keep learning until I feel wiser, kinder and more whole. Even then, I’ll continue learning because there is so much within this world to learn, there is so much that I need to know, and there is always lots of room left to grow.